My Husband's Lover: Kabaliwan, Kinababaliwan

Umiigting ang pakikibaka ng mga netizens lalo kapag dating sa mga maiinit na isyu. Sa ngayon, walang mas mainit na isyu pa kung hindi ang My Husband's Lover.

Sa kanilang Facebook page, may mga taga-suporta at mga ilang bumabatikos sa MHL. Isa ako sa mga tutol sa kanilang palabas, na sa aking palagay ay hindi nararapat para sa mga Pilipino. Hindi ko na tatalakayin pa kung ano ang aking mga dahilan, saka na 'yun. Ang gusto kong pag-usapan natin ay ang reaksyon ng mga tao sa CBCP na naglabas ng kanilang pahayag:

"CBCP-ECY executive secretary Fr. Kunegundo Garganta said TV producers and writers must study themes presented in their shows and make sure they are based on moral standards.

He said guidelines regarding themes followed by TV networks are important, especially for television shows with controversial content. Garganta urged networks to consider how the shows impact young viewers’ consciousness."

Aminin ninyo. Maayos naman ang pagkakasabi. Dapat daw ang pinapalabas, yung nakabase sa "moral standards" dahil makakaapekto ito sa kamalayan ng mga kabataan, lalo na.

Pero ang Pinoy netizen, balasubas. For example, basahin ninyo ang satirical article tungkol dito sa blog ng sowhatnews. Basahin ninyo ng maigi ang article nila, pati ang mga nasa comments section.

Maayos ang request ni Fr. Garganta, di ba? Ginawan na lang nilang katawa-tawa para mapagtawanan ang Simbahan. Gagawin daw 'My Father's Lover." Syempre, patama 'yan sa mga paring nang-abuso ng mga bata at pati na rin mga matatanda. 

Ako na ang unang aamin. May mga abusong nangyayari sa Simbahan. Ito ay dahil tao rin naman ang mga pari at obispo. Nagkakamali. Let me make it clear. Tutol tayo sa kanilang mga pang-aabuso. Kung napatunayang guilty, bahala na ang batas sa kanila. Kung hindi pa napapatunayan, due process ang dapat. He should be innocent until proven guilty. Pero alam naman natin na hindi uso ang due process dito sa 'pinas.

Let's take a look at the comments section of the said article sa blog nila:

Uulitin ko, Hindi ko pinagtatanggol ang mga paring abusado. Hindi ko rin isinulat ito para sagutin isa-isa ang mga nag-comment. That would be for another day. Pero sasabihin ko ito:

Pumunta kayo sa wikipedia, hanapin ninyo ang MY HUSBAND'S LOVER. Ito ang mababasa ninyo (bold caps mine)

My Husband's Lover is a Filipino drama television series created and developed by Suzette Doctolero and produced by GMA Network.

It is credited as the very first gay-themed series in Philippine television due to the series' central subject of homosexual relationships and infidelity. The show has multiple continuing story lines that tackle sensitive yet relevant social issues like homosexual and bisexual relationships, homophobia and the society's discrimination against homosexuals, infidelity, pre-marital sex and the consequences of early or unplanned marriages. It also tackles the importance of family, friendship, integrity and love. The forty-five minute scripted drama chronicles the life of a woman, who belatedly discovers that her husband has been carrying on an affair, but not with another woman.

Dios mio! Ito ba ang pinagtatanggol ninyo?

Pare, pakiss. 

Tama ba ang pagkakaintindi ko? Pinagtatanggol ninyo ang pagtataksil sa asawa at ang pagpatol sa kapwa lalaki?

Yung pari na nagsusumamo na ibalik ang values sa telebisyon, nilalait ninyo, pero itong programang sisira sa values ng pamilyang Pilipino, tinatangkilik at pinagtatanggol ninyo pa???

Nasa talampakan ba ang utak nating mga Pilipino? Nasaan na ang ating moral standards? Ano na ang nangyari sa atin? Can you imagine this being shown when we were young?

Gumising sana tayo! Let us demand for better shows, for quality shows!

When Women Don't Want Babies

The usual excuse for allowing the government to distribute contraceptives is for the "quality of life" of women, especially the poor. It always has to be for the poor; it's either they won't admit that they also want to benefit from free contraceptives paid for by our taxes, or they're intellectually dishonest (or foolish) to think that contraceptives would really help the poor. I don't know about you, but I have yet to see someone become a millionaire from drinking all those pills.

We're so poor our mommies need pills! - said no poor, hungry kid, ever

So aside from the fact that contraception for the poor does not alleviate poverty, what harm does it do? Isn't this a personal decision that should be made by the woman?

There is a difference between letting women decided for themselves whether they want contraceptives or not, and crafting a law that "offers freedom" to women who want to use contraceptives (as if women were barred from using contraception prior to the RH law).

When women take contraceptives to delay the rearing of children, they form a habit of contraception, and a mentality of not wanting children. Their actions become their habits, and the collective habits of a society whose women practice contraception will lead to a contraceptive culture, and a significant drop in the total fertility rates. Simply put it, any demographer worth his salt knows that a society needs an average of 2.1 babies per woman in order to have a sustainable population. Anything below 2.1 and the population goes down as well. Imagine losing your people to some unknown plague that does kills not immediately, but persists from generation after generation.

Do we really want to follow their example? 

Of course, one could always make the excuse that these countries are steeped in progress by this time because of the same birth control program that is being handed to us through the RH law. That excuse is itself problematic, first of all because we don't really know whether the drop in population, as manifested by the drop in their society's total fertility rate, or TFR, did cause their progress or not. Second, would anyone really do anything for progress' sake, solving their economic and social problems by creating more problems? One can argue that we should let progress take its course, and worry about that problem later. I don't know about that, since no country has ever gone from below 2.1 and recovered their population without resorting to immigrants. The country is then slowly choked to death, its people slowly eroding away, replaced by immigrants.

But I am getting ahead of myself. What problems do we create when we fail to create enough children, so to speak? Simplistically speaking, a drop in birth rates will cause dire consequences, especially affecting the workforce and social security, for starters. The video below will expound this further.

Of course, there are other explanations as to why the birth rates and total fertility rates are plummeting down. The documentary "Demographic Winter" offers some answers as to why births are down:

• Women working - Simply put it: if both daddy and mommy are working, they both get tired. No energy for baby-making at night after work. 
• Prosperity - studies show that as countries and individuals become prosperous, they tend to desire less children
• The Sexual Revolution - ingrained in men and women the contraceptive mentality. It was no coincidence that the emergence of the pill in 1960 ushered in the sexual revolution. 
• The Divorce Revolution - if women can't count on their partners being there for them next month, let alone next year, let alone forever - women will naturally not want to have children with their spouse. The risk of divorce decreases the couple's chances of having another child. 
• Inaccurate Assumptions - like overpopulation causing poverty, and lesser children equating to poverty. 

In this postmodern world, it is easy to think that birth control is vogue; sire several children and you will be the target of jokes like "ang sipag ni kumpare ah!"  or "konti na lang, may basketball team ka na" Of course, we know that the use of contraceptives is not in any way modern; contraception was used in the past by our ancestors as well. This site tells us how old contraception is. 

"The Greeks used Silphium, known commonly as giant fennel. Its pungent sap was good in cough syrups and gave food a rich, distinctive taste. These plants were also known to have contraceptive and abortifacient properties. The plant was honored on a four-drachma Cyrenian coin showing a seated woman touching the plant with one hand while pointing to her genitals with the other hand. The demand for the plant was so great that by the third or fourth centuries, Silphium was extinct. Related plants survived, but were less effective.

The ancient Egyptians also practiced birth control. A medical document from 1500 BC lists substances that it claims 'stops pregnancy.' According to the papyrus, unspecified amounts of acacia gum, dates, and an unidentified plant were mixed with plant fiber and honey and formed into a pessary (vaginal suppository). Modern researchers have found acacias to be spermicidal."

The RH law's existence hangs in the balance, until after the oral arguments on July 9. But with or without the RH law, we will always have to contend with the contraceptive culture, a culture where men, and most crucially, women, don't want babies for all the wrong reasons. And because of this, regardless of what happens after the Supreme Court decides on the fate of RH, we have to continue educating people, especially our youth, to welcome all new life as a blessing, and that we should uphold and protect human life. 

The future rests on our hands. Literally. 

To My Dear Bosconians

Forgive me, my dear boys. I do not mean to sound like the Rector Major; however, I address you now as a fellow Bosconian who have graduated from Don Bosco many, many years ago, and still carry his teachings in his heart to this day. I write to you to tell you something that you probably do not realize yet: that it is truly a blessing from God to be a Bosconian.

It is enough for you to be young for Don Bosco to love you! 

Whenever my friends introduce me to other people, they always say: Bosconian 'yan! We Bosconians aren't known to be the smartest, nor the most good-looking. And yet, once people know you as a Bosconian, people automatically think highly of you, and expect much more from you. Why is that? What sets the Bosconian apart?

Before I answer that question, let me remind you of some things you should never forget.

Don Bosco was fond of telling his boys to "do your ordinary duties extraordinarily well". God wants you to be happy, and that happiness can only be achieved by striving for holiness. How do we achieve that holiness? By doing the best we can in every thing we do, whether it be our studies, or washing the dishes, or playing sports.

Guess what? When we grew up and entered the work force, the whole company expected nothing less than the best from us. When God gave us our families, we were expected to be the best husbands and daddies, no less. In our society today, we are all called to be brave and exemplary Catholics who live and share their faith and follow the teachings of the Church; Don Bosco wouldn't have it any other way, believe me. When you do your ordinary duties extraordinarily well, you are preparing your heart to live a life of love, and your soul for eternal life.

I am sure you know of a certain boy who once said "Death rather than sin." To do our duties as Christians means to avoid sin at all costs, even to the point of death. Do not think that this is impossible, nor should you think that you should abandon this great ideal just because you repeatedly fall into sin. Saint Dominic Savio was also young boy like many of you who strove to be the best. Make Jesus and Mama Mary your best friends by visiting the chapel at least once day and frequenting the sacraments of confession and communion. I know you need to stay connected with your friends, either through Facebook or through your cellphones. Jesus wants you to stay connected to Him because He is your best friend.

Have you been trying to be a saint?

Never let go of these habits, my dear Bosconians. When you retain these habits to your adulthood, and you suddenly feel the raging tempests of temptation and tribulations, you will feel strong and unafraid, for Jesus has made you strong. It is at that point that you will feel so blessed to have been picked by Mama Mary to study in Don Bosco.

We have asked the question earlier: what sets us Bosconians apart? I would like to believe that people regard Bosconians highly because people believe in Don Bosco's way of producing not only upright citizens but saints. Saints!

You are all blessed to study in Don Bosco. You are all called to shine and shine the brightest, not in the future, but now. Our society and the Church needs holy Bosconians to be the vanguards of the faith. Strive not to be the best, but to be the holiest by doing your best even in your smallest duties.

Saint John Bosco, pray for us! Mary, Help of Christians, pray for us!

Life's Little Accidents

I spent my high school years in Don Bosco Juniorate, a minor seminary where there was a very strong football culture. We woke up thinking about playing football, we spent the day talking about football, and during games and recreation we would play football for hours. We were often left breathless at football stories passed on from generation to generation in the seminary, mostly about the exploits of our predecessors in DBJ. It was said that they battled with the likes of the Army team and expats who drove all the way to our seminary in order to challenge them, who were regarded to be one of the best teams in the country.

Naturally, I wanted to be part of that great footballing legacy that the Juniorate prided itself in. I spent years trying to perfect my technique and to gain a spot in the prestigious football varsity team. Finally, after two years of trying and giving it my best, I thought I had a good shot at being part of the team. I wasn't really strong, but I was fast and very quick as a defender. All I needed were a few good pick-up games in order to impress the coach and my would-be team mates, and eventually land on the team.

Then, one tragic day in November back in 1995, this happened:

Oh, why did they have to say, "break a leg"?

I broke my leg in a freak accident during one of the practice games. To this day, I still do not know exactly how I broke my leg, but I did hear what sounded like a tree branch snapping when the accident happened.

This picture was taken a week after I broke my leg. I was taken to a hilot first, twice. The pain I went through as the hilot did her work was just beyond words. The slightest movement I made hurt; I cannot even begin to tell you how painful it was at every stroke the hilot did against my leg, but she was confident that there were no broken bones and still did her job.. After two excruciating visits to the hilot, I was finally sent to the hospital, where they took an x-ray of my leg and revealed the painful truth: I had indeed broken my shin bone.

Perhaps more painful than this was to be told that I will not be able to play any sport, let alone football, for the next 6 months. My whole left leg was plastered and immobilized, I was walking with the help of crutches, and I was in an all-time low. As a healthy and athletic 15 year-old kid, I thought I was the king of the world; to be debilitated by a broken bone was just unacceptable.

For the first time in my life, I questioned God. I asked God, why me? It could have been someone else, but why me? Why single me out, Lord???

Fortunately, the seminary had a lot more to offer me than just football. I have been putting off learning how to play the guitar before the incident, and after the accident I had two things that I had a lot of: free time, and letters. Everyday I would walk to our music room, get a guitar, and strum away. I got better as the days went by. My friends sent me letters and get-well-soon cards, and soon I found out that I have a knack for writing. I wrote them back, and they wrote me back, saying that I wrote like a pro. That started my love affair with writing.

Fast-forward to today: by God's help, and through a lot of effort, I have become a writer who has made writing his bread and butter.

I do not pretend to know why God has sent me life's little accidents. I do not even know if God was responsible for all this. What I do know is that God has allowed me to transform tragedy into an opportunity for renewal.

But God was not done with me yet. When I broke my leg I thought that that was the end of my dream of joining the varsity. I was wrong. .

The really handsome and cool dude third from the right, back row. I wonder who he is. Hmm.

By this time, I was writing screenplays for movies and TV, and a member of the school band. And God has given me back some of my skills, just enough to make the team and play football on the side. Not bad Lord, not bad.

The story should have ended there, but I was yet to encounter another accident.

Before my college graduation, I was convinced that my transition to the "outside world" (having left the seminary a year before) would be smooth, and that offers to direct or write movies and TV shows would come that easily. After all, I was trained and schooled by the best screenplay writer this country had. I was convinced that I would become a screenplay writer, like my mentor was. At least I had music to fall back to, just in case the offers took time in coming.

I was 19 when I first got an offer to direct an indie film, but I had to beg off because I had absolutely no experience directing a film. After that was an offer to be the writer for a kid's fantasy series, but I had to submit my script that night as part of the try-outs. Once again, I begged off, not wanting to submit a haphazardly-done script and therefore tarnish my career.

Then, the offers stopped coming. Just when I thought things were looking bright for me and my future, I had hit a snag. Eventually, I would accept a teaching job where I wasn't able to showcase any of my writing or musical talents.

At that point, I had more questions that answers. I had begun to doubt God. Again.

I needed more than Google to answer my questions.

I do not dare say that there was no fun or happiness in teaching. In fact, I consider myself to be a passionate teacher who believed in his students so much. To my credit, I have established permanent bonds with my former students, and I am proud that we all have shared wonderful experiences together. But those were times that I was searching for something that would fulfill me, and the worst part was that I didn't know what it was.

Then came an opportunity to work for Pro-Life Philippines a few years ago. Pro-Life gave me my first real opportunity to be not only a writer, but a writer who could make a difference. My experience in teaching has also given me the skill of public speaking. It was through my talents in writing and public speaking that I was finally able to find my niche, my place in life. These past few years I had been giving seminars, retreats, recollections, and talks to various groups from different walks of life, aside from being a writer and an activist for the pro-life movement here in the country.

Fighting the Culture of Death. Fighting the good fight. 

I have absolutely no idea what accident life will send my way in the future. After all I have been through, I have learned that the trick here is not to avoid the accident, but to trust that God will help you fix everything so that things come out for the good, eventually.

For those of you who are reading this and are currently experiencing some sort of accident that has caused you pain, confusion, and doubt: upon reading this, you have my prayer, and I am praying now that whatever you have lost due to your accident, you will never  lose faith and trust in the power of God.

May God send you more accidents in life, and may you have the fortitude to rise up from your fall, and the wisdom to recognize the opportunities to change and improve your life, to be perfected as God is perfect.